welurklate: IT IS SO TRUE
welurklate: LIKE WILD SEX ALL OVER THE PLACE AND EDWARD IS....READING
balcarin: EDWARD IS SUCH A FUCKING PRUDE
balcarin: LOL CAN YOU IMAGINE HE'D BE LIKE "EMMETT CAN YOU KEEP IT DOWN I AM READING PROUST!!!!" ALL OUTRAGED AND SHIT AND EMMETT WOULD BE LOUDER ON PURPOSE TO PISS EDWARD OFF AND EDWARD WOULD LIKE START LATIN RECITATIONS OR SOMETHING
welurklate: NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME!!!!!!
welurklate: reading like flowers for alegeron all pissed off while rose and emmett are breaking houses
balcarin: rosalie would totally be extra loud to annoy edward too
balcarin: esp if he was doing something delicate like building a boat in a bottle
welurklate: YOU KNOW HE HAS
balcarin: FUCK YOU ROSALIE THIS WAS THE FIFTH TIME
balcarin: and then he'd sulk around the house
balcarin: muttering darkly about his boat
welurklate: LISTENING TO CAT STEVENS AND SHIT
welurklate: all moodly for the next week
balcarin: LOL OR HE'D GO TO HIS ROOM AND BLARE ELIOT SMITH AND BRIGHT EYES AND SHIT
balcarin: NO ONE UNDERSTANDS MEEE HE WOULD SEETHE AS HE PRESSED HIS WILDFLOWERS
balcarin: i bet he went through a phase where he knitted shit
balcarin: to keep from strangling emmett
balcarin: everyone got a lumpy pullover for xmas that year
welurklate: ESME GOT SOMETHING WITH A CAT ON IT
balcarin: EMMETT'S HAD NO NECK HOLE AND EMMETT TRIED TO PUT IT ON ANYWAY AND STRUGGLED AROUND A LOT UNTIL HE JUST RIPPED HIS HEAD THROUGH
welurklate: he'd like mutter to himself about being 'content with yourself' and shit while knitting
balcarin: BE TRUE TO YOURSELF
welurklate: EMMETT, I WORKED HARD ON THAT, JEEZ!!!
balcarin: AND ESME WOULD COME BY AND STROKE HIS HAIR AND KISS HIS FOREHEAD
balcarin: AND PRAISE HIS UGLY KNITTING
welurklate: She'd wear hers around the house for the next few weeks
balcarin: Alice would be scandalized and "lose" hers
balcarin: and suggest edward pick up scrapbooking or something
welurklate: CAN YOU IMAGINE HIM SCRAPBOOKING?
balcarin: YEAH I CAN
balcarin: ALL SPREAD OUT ON THE LIVING ROOM FLOOR
balcarin: SUPER INTENSE
welurklate: ~HUNTING TRIPS~
balcarin: CUTTING OUT SNOW ANGELS AND SHIT
balcarin: GOING TO GET STICKERS THAT MATCHED
welurklate: WHERE ARE MAH STICKERS!!!!!
balcarin: EMMETT WOULD STEAL THEM
balcarin: "LOOK AT THIS SHIT IT'S A BATHTUB STICKER? WHO THE FUCK NEEDS THAT?"
welurklate: jasper too when he's bored
balcarin: they would stick them places to annoy edward
balcarin: like on his clothes before esme washed them
welurklate: edward would get super pissy too
welurklate: I DON'T MAKE FUN OF YOUR HOBBIES!!!
balcarin: THOSE WERE MY FAVOURITE KHAKIS
balcarin: I PAID $4.50 FOR THOSE STICKERS YOU DICKS
welurklate: YOU ARE PAYING ME BACK!
balcarin: EMMETT YOU HAVE TO GO BUY ME NEW STICKERS
balcarin: RIGHT NOW!!!!
welurklate: COME ON, WE ARE TAKING THE JEEP
welurklate: I AM NOT KIDDING
balcarin: and emmett would be like OH HELL NO I AINT GOING IN THAT STORE
welurklate: I'LL TELL MOM
balcarin: i bet he went through a phase where he wanted to be a rock star instead of a pianist too
balcarin: like in the 80s
balcarin: IT'S AN ELECTRONIC KEYBOARD OKAY!!!!
welurklate: LOL ALSO - EDWARD SPENDS A LOT OF HIS NIGHTS CLEANING
balcarin: LIKE GROUT IN THE BATHROOM
balcarin: WITH A TOOTHBRUSH
balcarin: EVEN THOUGH NO ONE USES IT
welurklate: he's like hardcore with it too
welurklate: THIS IS GROSS, HOW DO WE LIVE LIKE THIS?
balcarin: like microscopic grit
balcarin: i bet he did bella's bathroom too
balcarin: when he got tired of watching her sleep
welurklate: he has gloves and everything
welurklate: he gets in there all like scrubs shit
balcarin: and gets pissy if anyone touches his specially organised bucket
balcarin: WHO WAS TOUCHING MY CLEANING SUPPLIES???
welurklate: EMMETT, DO'T TOUCH MY WINDEX
welurklate: YOU USED ALL MY FEBREZE LAST WEEK AND I LET IT GO BUT THIS IS TOO MUCH
welurklate: I AM PUTTING MY FOOT DOWN
balcarin: i bet jasper and emmett like pull all the TP off the roll and leave the cardboard just to annoy edward
welurklate: GUYS. YOU KNOW WE CAN'T EVER HAVE GUESTS IF THIS IS THE WAY YOU ARE GOING TO KEEP THINGS?
welurklate: I WOULD DIE IF SOMEONE CAME OVER RIGHT NOW AND HAD TO USE THE BATHROOM
welurklate: THEY WOULD THINK WE WERE PIGS
balcarin: and emmett and jasper just look at each other like DUDE HE NEEDS TO GET LAID
balcarin: i bet emmett tries to talk about masturbating
balcarin: and edward is like OMG EMMETT DO NOT BE CRUDE
welurklate: oh and he totally uses the word crude, you are right
balcarin: i bet they use his shampoo in the shower too
welurklate: emmett.we don't even have the same hair type!!!!
balcarin: emmett would pee in the shower if he could
balcarin: emmett probably leaves like pubes on edward's soap and shit
welurklate: I love how we have turned Edward into a 40 year old mother
welurklate: on a bad day
welurklate: edward calls FAMILY MEETINGS when emmett really pisses him off with that shit
welurklate: they have all to come and talk about their feelings
welurklate: EMMETT, I DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU RESPECT MY WANTS AND NEEDS AS A PERSON SOMETIMES
balcarin: ESME IS THE MODERATOR
balcarin: emmett thinks she unfairly favours edward
welurklate: AND IT HURTS MY FEELINGS BECAUSE I AM ALWAYS AT MY BEST BEHAVIOR WITH YOU
balcarin: JUST BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANK ENOUGH IS NO REASON TO PUT UP WITH HIS PRISSINESS
welurklate: Emmett just like kicks back and is all IT'S FOR THE LULZ, EDWARD, STOP BEING A VAG
welurklate: Rosalie gets pissed within the first minute and has to walk out
balcarin: rosalie rolls her eyes so hard it would hurt if it could
welurklate: Alice tries to be kind to Edward...
balcarin: OH MY GOD GROW UP BOTH OF YOU. I WILL BE IN THE GARAGE.
welurklate: ROSALIE YOUR CONSTANT ATTITUDE DOES NOT HELP AT ALL EITHER
welurklate: AND JASPER, I FEEL LIKE YOU EGG HIM ON, YOU KNOW HOW HE IS
welurklate: I DON'T ASK FOR MUCH, YOU GUYS, I REALLY DON'T
balcarin: jasper would act innocent, all spreading his hands wide like WHAT COULD I DO
balcarin: emmett would get up and leave in the middle
balcarin: IT IS TIME FOR THE GAME, BRO
welurklate: Jasper would fuck with his mood too make him more pissy
balcarin: and edward would accuse him of this and just get pissier
welurklate: EMMETT I CAN READ YOUR MIND, AND THAT WAS VERY RUDE AND I FEEL LIKE YOU SHOULD TELL ME YOU ARE SORRY
welurklate: THERE IS NO NEED FOR THOSE TYPE OF WORDS, HONESTLY
balcarin: and then emmett would start screaming at the tv
balcarin: and it would all dissolve
balcarin: and edward would remain in impotent rage in the kitchen
welurklate: Esme would just like hug him and be all 'i'll talk to him, sweetie, you know he doesn't mean it'
balcarin: and edward would mutter something like THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT ISN'T HURTFUL.
welurklate: NO MOM, HE DOES IT ALL THE TIME, AND HE KNOWS IT'S DISRESPECTFUL, HE KNOWS
balcarin: and esme would be like WHY DON'T YOU GO TRY OUT THAT NEW POTTERY WHEEL I BOUGHT?
welurklate: and that's how they have like 80 bowls they'll never use
balcarin: all lumpy and badly glazed
welurklate: I'M PERFECTING MY ART!!!!!
welurklate: WHAT ARE YOU DOING BESIDES BEING FILTHY?
balcarin: emmett will use them one day when he and jasper are pretending aliens are invading in the backyard and karate chop them to bits
balcarin: and edward will flip his shit
balcarin: NO RESPECT
balcarin: NO RESPECT!!!!
balcarin: THAT WAS ART!
welurklate: oh that would be the shitfit for the ages
welurklate: EMERGENCY HOUSE MEETING!!!!!
welurklate: Edward would just walk outside and see it and start screaming for a meeting
welurklate: THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT
welurklate: WELL I WILL TELL YOU SOMETHING MISTER,
balcarin: DONT EVEN TRY TO SAY YOU DIDNT THINK ANYONE WAS USING THOSE, EMMETT
welurklate: YOU HAVE TAKEN IT TOO FAR
balcarin: I KNOW YOU KNEW THAT I MADE THOSE FOR ESME
welurklate: TOO FAR
welurklate: THOSE TOOK TIME AND HARD WORK
welurklate: DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO WORK ON SOMETHING?
welurklate: DO YOU?
balcarin: he'd go break something of emmett's
balcarin: in a pique of rage
balcarin: and then be really upset with himself
balcarin: and lock himself in his room
welurklate: FOR LIKE A WEEK
welurklate: I'M NEVER COMING OUT!!!
balcarin: AND EMMETT WOULD BE LIKE
balcarin: DUDE I DONT CARE I CAN BUY A NEW STEREO
balcarin: COME OUT, ESME IS CONCERNED
balcarin: BRO I REALLY DONT CARE
welurklate: Edward, no one is angry with you, please come out
balcarin: I AM ANGRY WITH MYSELF!!!!
balcarin: I LET MY CONTROL SLIP!!!
welurklate: Esme would make everyone go to his door and try to talk to him
balcarin: I AM A MONSTER!!!
welurklate: I LET YOU GET TO ME!!!!
balcarin: OH SHE TOTALLY WOULD
balcarin: EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES, DARLING!
balcarin: NO NEED TO BEAT YOURSELF UP OVER IT
welurklate: Rosalie would be like STOP BEING SUCH A BITCH AND GET OUT ALREADY
welurklate: ESME IS WORRIED
welurklate: AND I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT ANYMORE
welurklate: he'd just like turn up his music all I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!!
balcarin: I KNOW YOU WANT ME TO STAY IN HERE FOREVER, ROSE
balcarin: I KNOWWWWW
welurklate: I THINK WE HAVE A NEW CANON
balcarin: EDWARD CULLEN IS THE PROBLEM CHILD
welurklate: he's EMOTIONAL, OK
welurklate: JUST BECAUSE HE HAS FEELINGS
welurklate: Alice is the only one who ~understands~ him
balcarin: I BET HE GOES SHOPPING WITH ALICE
balcarin: AND IS A PICKY LITTLE BITCH
balcarin: AND EMMETT IS LIKE BRO JUST BUY A SHIRT
balcarin: THE GAME IS ON A FOUR
balcarin: I GOTTA GET HOME FOR THE GAME
balcarin: and alice is like THEY LOSE
balcarin: AND EMMETT IS LIKE "fUCK YOU ALICE FUCK YOU"
welurklate: that is the one time emmett gets pissy
welurklate: he like storms out to bitch to rosalie
welurklate: who doesn't care
balcarin: he knocks over a whole dressing rack
balcarin: and they are asked to leave the store
welurklate: Edward is like WE CAN NEVER GO ANYWHERE WITH YOU!!!!
welurklate: HOW EMBARASSING!
balcarin: WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE LIKE THAT EMMETT
welurklate: ARE YOU A CHILD?
balcarin: ITS ALICE'S FAULT, MAN. SHE CROSSED THE LINE.
welurklate: I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO LOOK THROUGH THE DRESS SHIRTS
balcarin: SHE WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP!
welurklate: IT REFLECTS BADLY ON ALL OF US WHEN YOU CARRY ON THIS WAY
balcarin: ALL YOU WEAR IS BEIGE ANYWAY EDWARD
balcarin: WHY DO YOU NEED MORE BEIGE SHIRTS
balcarin: THE FUCKING GAME MAN
balcarin: THAT SHIT IS IMPORTANT
balcarin: YOU KNOW THIS
welurklate: OH SO NOW WE ARE GETTING NASTY
balcarin: IF YOU WANT NASTY
balcarin: and then he'd jump edward in the parking lot
balcarin: and alice would be like PEOPLE ARE WATCHING KNOCK IT OFF EMMETT
welurklate: Edward gets all pissy and has to run home
welurklate: I DON'T EVEN WANT TO BE IN THE SAME CAR AS YOU RIGHT NOW
welurklate: I AM SICK OF IT
balcarin: emmett has to drive the volvo home and IT RUINS HIS STREET CRED TO DRIVE THIS PUSSY CAR
welurklate: Edward has it on like pussy rock
welurklate: and Emmett has to put on 50 cent
balcarin: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT? NICKELBACK?
balcarin: he would like rip the stereo out
balcarin: and then get pissed cause he had no music
welurklate: and Edward gets all pissed off YOU ARE GOING TO BLOW OUT THE SPEAKERS!!!!!
balcarin: THIS MUSIC OFFENDS ME
balcarin: LISTEN TO HOW HE TALKS ABOUT WOMEN
welurklate: AND DRUGS ARE NOT COOL
welurklate: NOR IS SUCH VIOLENCE
balcarin: I CANNOT CONDONE YOUR MUSICAL CHOICE, EMMETT
welurklate: THIS IS THE WHY YOU ARE THE WAY YOU ARE, EMMETT, THIS MUSIC
balcarin: and emmett would be like OH SHUT UP EDWARD THIS SHIT IS FLY
balcarin: and crank it up more
welurklate: HAVE YOU EVER EVEN HEARD OF COLUMBINE?
welurklate: I BET THEY LISTENED TO THIS TYPE OF "MUSIC" AS WELL
welurklate: AND LOOKED HOW THAT TURNED OUT
balcarin: i bet he would like quote jay-z to edward A PUSSY HAVIN' NO GODDAMN SENSE
balcarin: and shit about STRONG ARMING A HO
balcarin: and edward would be like PLEASE, EMMETT! MY EARS!
welurklate: I CANNOT SPEAK TO YOU WHEN YOU CARRY ON LIKE THIS
balcarin: STOP THINKING ABOUT THOSE VILE MUSIC VIDEOS
welurklate: SO PLEASE STAY QUIET OR ELSE THERE WILL BE A PROBLEM
balcarin: NO I DONT THINK THAT IT IS ATTRACTIVE WHEN WOMEN SHAKE THEIR BEHINDS IN THAT MANNER
welurklate: I JUST TO WANT TO SCRAPBOOK TONIGHT, OK
welurklate: I FIND IT OFFENSIVE
balcarin: i bet he like periodically reorganizes his CD collection
balcarin: sometimes it is by colour, reverse alphabetical
welurklate: it's like a weeklong thing
welurklate: WHERE IS MY COUNTING CROWS?
balcarin: EMMETT DID YOU BORROW THIS WITHOUT ASKING
welurklate: I REALLY WISH EVERYONE WOULD ASK BEFORE USING MY CD'S
balcarin: OH MY GOD WHO CRACKED THE CASE ON MY CREED CD
balcarin: WHO DID THIS!!!!
balcarin: FESS UP
welurklate: YOU KNOW I DON'T MIND
balcarin: FESS UP!!!
welurklate: I SIMPLY REQUEST YOU ASK!!!
balcarin: IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR????
welurklate: DID YOU NOT THINK I'D NOTICE?
welurklate: AM I STUPID NOW?
balcarin: LOOK I CAN STOP LETTING YOU BORROW STUFF FROM ME!!
balcarin: and emmett is like PLEASE LIKE I WANT TO BORROW MUSIC FROM YOU
welurklate: WELL OBVIOUSLY YOU DO
welurklate: BECAUSE THERE IS NO MUSIC FAIRY TAKING THEM
balcarin: it's 3 am and he's vaccuming all the cars
welurklate: he gets super serious about it
balcarin: i bet he vaccums when emmett and rosalie are having sex
balcarin: emmett totes plays xbox in his underwear
balcarin: and he pwns edward
welurklate: Edward doesn't play
welurklate: like ever
balcarin: jasper and emmett love it though
welurklate: he likes ~classic~ games
balcarin: and edward is like too good for it
balcarin: THAT IS MINDLESS VIOLENCE!!!
balcarin: he announces and everyone stares at him like he is retarded
welurklate: IT KILLS YOUR BRAIN CELLS
balcarin: because THEY ARE VAMPIRES
balcarin: emmett has the hacks for grand theft auto
balcarin: and edward is SCANDALIZED
welurklate: CHESS IS SUCH A GRACEFUL GAME
balcarin: THIS GAME SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED
welurklate: WHY DON'T WE PLAY THAT?
balcarin: CHESS IS FOR QUEERS
balcarin: NO OFFENSE ALICE
welurklate: THESE YOUNG WOMEN HAVE OBVIOUSLY HAD A HARD LIFE
welurklate: SO THEY HAD TO SELL THEIR BODIES ON THE STREETS
balcarin: MUST YOU PISTOL WHIP EVERYONE, EMMETT?
welurklate: AND YOU KILL THEM?
balcarin: MUST YOU?
welurklate: AND THIS IS FUN?
welurklate: IT IS TRAGIC
balcarin: emmett like speaks in grunts when playing video games
welurklate: AND THIS MUSIC IS VILE
balcarin: HAVENT YOU BEATEN THIS GAME LIKE TWENTY TIMES?
welurklate: oh totally
balcarin: WHY DO YOU KEEP PLAYING IT
welurklate: he doesn't pay attention at all
welurklate: and Edward is just going off
balcarin: i bet edward plays solitare on the computer trying to beat his previous high score
balcarin: he keeps like a spreadsheet
balcarin: THIS COMPUTER'S ALGORITHMS CHEAT!!!!
welurklate: he fights with people on yahoo games
balcarin: i bet he's a scrabble nazi too
balcarin: THAT ISNT A WORD EMMETT
balcarin: TAKE IT OFF THE BOARD
welurklate: He like gets really pissed and throws the board across the room
welurklate: NO ONE IS RESPECTING THE GAME
welurklate: I AM GOING TO MY ROOM, GOODDAY, ALL OF YOU
welurklate: and slams the door
balcarin: suddenly they hear the dulcet sounds of death cab
balcarin: WELL I GUESS HE'S GOING TO BE UP THERE AWHILE
welurklate: Esme just sighs and shakes her head at emmett
welurklate: YOU KNOW HOW HE GETS
welurklate: WHY MUST YOU UPSET HIM?
balcarin: emmett is like THIS ISN'T MY FAULT. IF HE'D JUST LET OFF SOME STEAM...
welurklate: HE IS SENSITIVE.
balcarin: HE IS REPRESSED, MOTHER.
welurklate: it hurts him greatly when you say that, you know that right?
balcarin: ARE YOU JUST GOING TO LET HIM MOPE AROUND THE HOUSE FOR ANOTHER 100 YEARS?
balcarin: HOW MANY MORE SCRAPBOOKS DOES ONE FAMILY NEED?
welurklate: HE IS FINE, EMMETT. OK, YOU HAVE YOUR HOBBIES
balcarin: HE HAS A PROBLEM, MOM.
welurklate: NO ONE SAYS ANYTHING TO YOU ABOUT THEM.
welurklate: No go and try to make up with him
balcarin: SPORTS ARE A WAY OF LIFE, OKAY.
balcarin: FINE, BUT I WON'T MEAN IT AND HE'LL KNOW.
welurklate: like an hour later he'll come downstairs and not speak to anyone
balcarin: EDWARD ESME SAID I SHOULD SAY SORRY. SO SORRY. ALSO THIS MUSIC MAKES ME WANT TO DIE. AGAIN.
welurklate: just walk around
balcarin: glaring sulkily
welurklate: EDWARD DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM?
balcarin: esme is the only one he will talk to
welurklate: OH NO EMMETT, NOT PROBLEM, I'M JUST LOOKING FOR MY CARLY SIMON CD..
welurklate: YOU WOULDN'T KNOW WHERE THAT IS, WOULD YOU?
balcarin: i bet his closet is organized by colour and it is like WHITE TO BLACK with just beige and brown shades in between
welurklate: Alice helped him one weekend
balcarin: emmett would like put a hot pink shirt in to dick with edward
balcarin: WHO WAS IN MY CLOSET
balcarin: WHO TOUCHED MY CLOTHES
balcarin: WHOSE SHIRT IS THIS
welurklate: AGAIN, JUST DISRESPECT FOR MY BELONGINGS
balcarin: EMMETT I WILL SERIOUSLY PUNCTURE YOUR GAS TANK IF YOU DONT STOP TOUCHING MY THINGS!!!!
welurklate: IF ANY OF MY SHIRTS ARE STRECHED OUT, I AM NOT GOING TO BE PLEASED AT ALL
balcarin: YOU WILL FACE MY DEEPEST IRE
welurklate: OH AND IF YOU USE MY COLOR SAFE BLEACH AGAN WITHOUT ASKING, I AM TELLING MOM
welurklate: I'M NOT JOKING THIS TIME
balcarin: STOP USING MY CHLOROX PEN TO WRITE "DICK" ON MY BLACK UNDERWEAR
balcarin: edward totally wears briefs
welurklate: ARE WE IN MIDDLE SCHOOL?
welurklate: THAT IS THE ONLY TIME THIS HUMOR IS AT ALL FUNNY
balcarin: jasper is like trying not to giggle
balcarin: JASPER I KNOW YOU ARE LAUGHING.
welurklate: I CAN READ. YOUR. MIND.
welurklate: DOES EVERYONE FORGET THIS?
welurklate: OR DO YOU ALL JUST NOT CARE?
welurklate: DOES NO ONE CARE?
balcarin: I AM GOING TO MY ROOM!!!
welurklate: I feel like I'm trying to be better, but I CAN'T DO IT BY MYSELF, YOU GUYS
welurklate: ROSALIE, PLEASE DON'T LEAVE THE ROOM WHEN I AM SPEAKING IT IS RUDE
balcarin: DOES NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE HAVE ANY RESPECT? HAVENT YOU BEEN RAISED BETTER THAN THIS/
welurklate: are you all WILD DOGS?
welurklate: I expect this from HIM, but I am suprised at the rest of you, really
welurklate: and, frankly, a little hurt
balcarin: LOL CAN YOU IMAGINE HIM THE DAY HE MET BELLA
balcarin: COMING HOME ALL
balcarin: "I FOUND THE GIRL I AM GOING TO
welurklate: I NEED TO LEAVE 4EVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
balcarin: THIS IS A TRAVESTYYYYYYYY
balcarin: EVERYTHING I HAVE WORKED FOR
welurklate: DON'T STOP ME!! I ALMOST LOST CONTROL!!!!
balcarin: SHE SMELLED DELICIOUS. LIKE BACON.
balcarin: I ALMOST SAVAGED HER IN FRONT OF THE KIDS
welurklate: NO ONE HAS EVER FELT THIS WAY
balcarin: and emmett would just hear that
balcarin: and be like GOOD ON YOU EDWARD
welurklate: I AM NEVER COMING BACK AGAIN
welurklate: NO EMMETT, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, THIS WAS AWFUL
balcarin: WHY? IS SHE UGLY?
balcarin: I MEAN SOMETIMES UGLY CHICKS ARE STILL GOOD IN BED
welurklate: and then they day after the meadow
welurklate: he comes home like skipping
welurklate: I AM IN LOOOOOVE
welurklate: LOVE LOVE LOVE
balcarin: rosalie would be like OMG I GET IT SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY JESUS EDWARD YOU WOULD THINK LOVE WAS JUST INVENTED BY YOU AND ONLY FOR YOU CHRIST
welurklate: EMMETT, I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS GIRL SEXUALLY, OUR CONNECTION IS FAR TOO DEEP FOR THAT
balcarin: OH WHATEVER YOU WANT TO BANG THE FUCK OUT OF HER DONT YOU
balcarin: and then he'd get really graphic
balcarin: and edward would get really pissy
balcarin: STOP IMAGINING IT
balcarin: EMMETT THAT IS WRONG
balcarin: OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT
balcarin: PEOPLE CANNOT DO THAT
welurklate: EDWARD IS LIKE 'THAT'S IT!!! I AM GOING TO HER HOUSE TO WATCH HER SLEEP!!!'
welurklate: Oh god, you know Emmett gave him so much shit for that
welurklate: the watching her sleep thing
balcarin: emmett would be like SUUUUUURE OKAY "SLEEP"
balcarin: THAT ISNT CREEPY
balcarin: OR STALKERY
balcarin: YOU ENJOY THAT, PERVERT
welurklate: ARE YOU FUCKING THIS GIRL WHILE SHE'S SLEEPING?
balcarin: EDWARD THAT ISNT COOL
balcarin: THAT'S RAPE, DUDE
welurklate: BECAUSE THAT IS WRONG EDWARD
welurklate: YOU ARE A GOOD LOOKING CAT
balcarin: LIKE I KNOW YOURE A VIRGIN AND SHIT
welurklate: YOU CAN GET SOME
balcarin: BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW: THERE ARE RULES
welurklate: YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS
balcarin: DUDE DONT TELL ME YOU'RE SNIFFING HER DIRTY UNDERWEAR AND SHIT
balcarin: ARE YOU?
welurklate: WHY EMMETT! I HAVE NEVER, I SAY, THAT IS VILE
balcarin: CAUSE LIKE, I KNEW YOU HAD ISSUES, BUT...
balcarin: NO NEED TO GET SO BUTTHURT
balcarin: I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP
balcarin: SO THAT WAS A "YES"
balcarin: HEY EDWARD WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN SHE'S ON THE RAG?
welurklate: YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND OUR LOVE!!!!
welurklate: and he runs off
balcarin: i bet bella used pads
balcarin: and edward was like UH CAN YOU SWITCH TO TAMPONS PLZ THANKS
welurklate: HE WOULD NEVER ASK HER TO DO THAT
welurklate: SHE WOULD BE UNPURE
balcarin: WELL ALICE WOULD
balcarin: SHE'D BE LIKE "UHM BELLA WE NEED TO CHAT"
balcarin: EDWARD IS TOO MUCH OF A GENTLEMAN TO SAY ANYTHING BUT AS YOUR FRIEND
balcarin: YOUR BESTEST BEST GIRL FRIEND
balcarin: I FEEL LIKE I SHOULD BRING IT UP
balcarin: YOUR PERIOD MAKES HIM UNCOMFORTABLE. NO NO NO DON'T FEEL BAD!!!
balcarin: YOU CANT HELP IT
balcarin: BUT MAYBE IF YOU USED TAMPONS INSTEAD?
balcarin: I HEAR THEY ARE QUITE PAINLESS TO USE, VERY EASY!!!
balcarin: I GOT YOU LIKE FIVE DIFFERENT KINDS
balcarin: SO YOU CAN FIND ONE YOU LIKE
balcarin: and bella would just take them and be blushing and all mumbling embarassed like
balcarin: I MEAN YOU DONT HAVE TO USE THEM BELLA! IF IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE
balcarin: IT'S JUST HARD YOU KNOW? FOR HIM. SMELLING THE BLOOD. NOT THAT YOU SMELL!!!!
Read the follow-up here.
ETA: FOR EVERYONE ASKING ABOUT ICONS, PLEASE GO HERE.